I’ve really struggled to find decent bike gear. I can’t bring myself to wear actual team colours (unless I actually ride for them).
I had a hugely embarrassing situation one triathlon when before I knew much about cycling: I wore a lovely white and stripy UCI jersey (whoever UCI is), totally unaware of its relevance. As I trotted painfully around the running portion of the Triathlon I heard many cyclists shout “go on world champion” at first was confused, thinking “wow, the world champion” must be here, looking around for Tim Don. It started to dawn on me that by my second lap of the course that Tim must be off form as he wasn’t going any faster than me. By the third lap I clocked a wanker signal from a sneering cyclist directed at me.
When I got home I looked up the shirt and realised my error. Apparently I’d committed a cardinal sin. Cyclist state you can’t wear it unless you’ve earned it. I definitely hadn’t earned it.
I don’t know when wearing tight fitting clothes in which you can clearly see my penis became acceptable but I’m there now and trying to find the nicest penis revealing clothes available. I’m torn with Rapha as I do really like it but also feel like it’s the lycra equivalent of driving a Range Rover — everyone quite likes the look of it but they know there’s a wanker inside it. Maybe I’m wrong, what do you think? Would love to get your recommendations on alternative brands.